The Swineford Dictionary

When I first met Matt I was concerned, I thought he was kind of a... farm boy from PA, a mountain man that lived in the woods, a man who used the term “Anyhoots”, which could easily have put an abrupt end to any budding romance. However, I stuck it out, told him how utterly unattractive “anyhoots” was, and he now says, “Anyhoots. Damn. Shit. Damn it”. Which is a serious improvement. Plus I've learned of his enjoyment of the old school hip hop which puts in a little edge where before their was none. The boy can shake his groove thang.
Since we've been spending time together, my vocabulary has expanded. There is what Matt's roommate Smarty refers to as, “The Swineford Dictionary”. Whenever Matt says something that makes one of us say, “WHAT??”, Smarty says, “Check your Swineford Dictionary”. He's a damn riot, that Swineford. I've begun tracking the dictionary and thought I'd share some of these terms, possibly spreading them across the nation, or the world. Enjoy.

Smoke Show
Function: noun (and my personal favorite)
: Hot chick. (Etymology: smoking hot)
Context - “Did you see the new bartender at the Headwaters? She's a total smoke show.”

Ruffy
Function: adjective
: unfortunate, painful or difficult situation
context- A common response to my sliding down the mountain 20 feet, with snow stuffed down my pants would be, “Ruffy!”
Pronunciation: “rrruuufffay!”

Death Cookie
function: noun
: rocks you encounter while skiing/snowboarding
context –“We really need a good dump, I'm sick of skiing over death cookies. ”

Cheerio
function: noun
: figure it out yourself.

Product
function: noun
: the result of your environment (etymology - “The product of his/her environment”)
context – “It's not his fault he can't stop drinking. He works for Moonlight, he's a product”.

Pit Stick
function: noun
: deoderant or anti-persperant.
Context -“Where did I snake that pit stick from the ladies bathroom yesterday?”

Swineflu
function: noun
: hang over, generally to the degree where one must be sent home from work. (Usually not used by Matt, but around him). (Etymology – a late Friday night, resulting in Matt having to go home from work ½ hour after arriving the following day)
Context - “I sent him home, he's useless with the Swineflu”.

On the Grape
function: adjective
: having drank wine. Context - “Why are you looking at me like that? Ohhh, you're on the grape”.

Wingnut
function: noun
: nut with wings that provide a grip for the thumb and finger
: chick, girl, ladyfriend.
(Etymology – It has two legs with a hole in the center. You can stick a screw in and spin it).
Context - “I'm not sure what I'm doing tonight, I'll have to check with the wingnut”. (Note: Terminology no longer approved).

X-box
function: noun
: ex girlfriend

Lung Cookie
function: noun
: phlegm
Context - “I'm making progress with my flu, I'm just coughing up some lung cookies."

Titz on a Ritz
function: adjective
: Best ever; ritz are really good, but the BEST would be titz on a ritz.
Context - “Last night with the wingnut was titz on a ritz”.