On the van we began chatting with a group of people there and ended up clicking with them immediately. After about 45 minutes of our 2 hour trip everyone got quiet as they began to turn green. The road got more and more windy and you really needed to focus on keeping your head about you or there was going to be spillage and no one wanted that. Once we arrived to town the 5 of us (Paige and Arnie - friends from Australia and Lizzie who is a very mature 18 from CT who is living with friends of family here for a few months) went to get some lunch then found a place to stay. We began our wander around town. Pai is a tiny version of Chiang Mai with a decidedly hippie vibe. We walked the streets, did some shopping (what else?) and found a local street market where we perused the goods and sampled an assortment of things including something I forget the name of (I'm terrible with words unless I see them written) which was sticky rice and coconut milk squeeze into a bambu shoot. Kind of like a rice pudding, which I found delicious. We continued along this path, getting smoothies and juices and shots of wheatgrass all around (since we're not finding there's much veggie consumption going on around these parts) and then assorted drinks at assorted tiki bars. Finally we wound up back on the street and tried pretty much every bit of street food that didn't involve meat in all of Pai. I'm not sure what all of it was but it was all pretty damned tasted. I enjoyed my papaya salad but it was quite possibly one of the hottest things I've ever consumed. Liz nearly burned out her esophogus last week eating those damned red chilis by accident, I thought I might have to take her to the hospital by the look on her face.
When we were sufficiently satiated, we headed home to get a good night's sleep for today's trek. We'd booked it yesterday when we got here - a 2 day 1 night trek to a few villages, where you stay overnight at one of them. Paige opted out in favor of some meditation class or something so it was just Liz and I, Arnie and Lizzie. We walked down to the office at 7:30am and were met with tea and a yummy breakfast. Things started getting shady quickly when the guy serving us (who we would later find out owns the company) was saying they might have to switch the route around tomorrow but we'd see what happened. A woman drove us out in the songtaew (covered pick up truck with benches in the back) to a pit stop where we ran into this group of Thai men we'd seen the night before at one of the tiki bars. I'm not quite sure but I think one of them wanted to purchase me for the evening. I didn't even notice it until Liz noted he was staring at me, and pointing. He came over with his entourage (seriously, like 6 Thai men trailing behind him, one of which was apparently his translater for making such arrangements). The adorable thai bartender who'd been serving us (and who was shy to be in the presence of Arnie discussing his experiences with a Thai prostitute - lovely) gave us the head shake and eye roll. They all had tall Heinekens and the one guy started chatting with us with the other translated, as we discussed where we were all from. Eventually they decided to leave and Liz said, "I think they like you. They're still staring. I think they want to buy you." While the Thai bartender made a slithering sound, perched her hand above her head to signal a cobra and said, "snake head". Arnie suggested these men (in their 50s I'm guessing) are making their rounds around Thailand trying out the local color, if you will. Well this Jersey Girl ain't for sale.
Anyway, that was totally not the point of this story, but we ran back into these guys at this little rest stop which they just loved so we all took a picture together in front of the viewpoint. We continued on when Arnie made a very astute observation about his life when Liz was saying how as of this week every one of her friends either has a chid or is pregnant. Arnie said, in his Melbourne accent - "Ahh, that's not a problem for me. The road is my child." He was totally being an ass - he's not a zen hippie freak but more of a whoring, drinking stereotypical aussie. But I thought it was a fabulous statement for myself and immediately took it as my own. Off to the 'drop spot' which was down a random dirt road. We took our day packs, were handed two bottles of water each and looked out our two guides who said not a word. They lit cigarrettes and started walking. "Hi there, what are your names?" We asked. I can't pronouce the first guy's name but the second, older guy was Tiger. We learned quickly that neither XXX nor Tiger could speak much english. Well. That would make for a fun 2 day trek, no?
Immediately we began uphill. Now, a mere 3 weeks ago I was running 5 miles or so with ease in Forest Park but it's amazing what a little bit of stagnancy and curry eating will do for your stamina. We were all sucking wind rather quickly (plus there was a whole lot of driving up to get to this spot, so I believe we were at at least a bit of elevation or so I tell myself - we couldn't really ask our guides). Thank the lord Liz and I had Arnie and Lizzie there to mix things up or we would have definitely been rolling around in the mud strangling one another. There was just no one else to talk to. On occasion Tiger would pull something off a branch and say, "bean" or point to a tree and say "banana". It was fascinating, truly. We had no idea what would come of us if we say, were bitten by a snake of some sort or fell while trapsing through fields of bush higher than our heads. Did they have a first aid kit? These guys hardly wanted to tell us their names, much less what the evacuation plan was. We were extra careful. We were out there around 4 hours and I'd say at least 3 of it was uphill. Very uphill. During the flat parts when we were enjoying ourselves we entertained one another by playing the movie game. The rest of the time we spent either attempting to bush wack (these guys carried machetes but only seemed to use them to cut down bambu trees for fun or hack into random branches). There were some lovely views, peanut fields, banana trees, tree covered 'mountains' (after Montana I use that term lightly). We were drenched through our clothing early. Don't get me wrong, I love to hike. I've spent many an hour in the woods and when they said 5 hours of walking I thought that sounded perfect. But as Liz said, "This feels like we're on the Bhutan Death March". A guy in front, a guy in back, both with machetes, only communicating when shouting back and forth to each other in a language we don't understand. Every so often we would come to a lovely bambu bench in the woods where we would be told 'rest'. They would go to the side and smoke cigarettes, eyeing us with contempt. The whole thing was bizarre and had a very 'VietCong' feel to it. We would ask "how much longer?", "more uphill?" And Tiger (the only one who spoke directly to us) would say "2 hour. 2 more ups". We learned that the two more ups were essentially one more up the whole way with a minute or so of flat. At one point Liz actually said, "I thought no more ups?" and Tiger laughed saying, "This not up. This flat." I can confirm, it was UP.
Lunch consisted of fried rice and some cucumbers with hot sauce which I was surprised to find were served in a bowl. We couldn't figure out why Tiger kept asking us if we were hungry since he didn't seem that interested in any other sorts of creature comforts, until Liz realized he probably didn't want to keep carrying it around. We entertained ourselves by having an orange pit spitting contest for a good 10 minutes. This is what they call 'living the good life'.
In any case, after 4 hours of marching and sweating, sweating and marching, we arrived to the village which we could smell before we could see. Then the cows started appearing, lots of them on either side of the path. The babies were adorable. Once we got to the village (which is where these guys live) we walked past a barrel of water. Tiger went over and splashed some water on his arms and kept walking. We guessed this was the signal that we could do the same and did. We continued walking and asked Tiger if he had children. He told us he had two and their ages. He was softening. We got to a sort of trading post and he said we could go in and get things. He crashed out in front and began smoking. Somewhere along the way the other guide had completely disappeared into thin air. We wouldn't see him again for hours.We were all happy to have a place to sit. I went in and bought two sodas, an enormous chang beer for Arnie and one for Tiger and a couple of snacks for 120 baht ($3.75 or so). People started coming by. The ladies brought their handmade wears and stared at us until we all bought something. The cows wandered around, the hogs close behind. The roosters and chickens were everywhere. It was a full on farm in the middle of the road. Arnie had never even hiked before, and this was where we took him to. Tiger said nothing again until Arnie bought a Burmese cigar, when he took out his lighter to get it set up. We entertained ourselves for a bit taking photos of each other smoking and teaching Lizzie how to do it since she'd never smoked anything in her life. The highlight of the day was by far when the rains began... we were safe underneath (although I went out and danced around a bit since we were all so damned dirty and sweaty). But this little boy started running up and down the little road in front screaming with joy. He was soaked (it was really coming down) and jumping up and down. He knew we were watching him and taking pictures so he took his shirt off and pranced around, then eventually his shorts came down below his rear and he bent over and was smacking his rear for our enjoyment. He was around 4 I'd say. Totally cute, we were all laughing nervously, unsure if this was appropriate behavior for their tribe. His mother was there yelling at him but he didn't give a crap. He was a kid and he was playing in the rain, he'd do whatever the hell he wanted.
After the rain storm, we attempted to ask Tiger what the plan was but he brushed us off insinuating there would be 'something' but we had no clue what or when. So I pulled out some of the long balloons I'd brought as gifts for the village kids. Arnie's the only one that could blow those suckers up and he's full of hot air anyway. So he filled one up and made a hat for the kid's mother which she seemed to love. I believe there's a photo of me with the yellow long balloon in one hand, the burmese cigar in the other and an assortment of livestock in the background. Does it get more random than that? When she left and was still wearing the yellow balloon hat (none of us have animal making skills so hers was sort of an abstract piece of art Liz made that was possibly inspired by one of the colorful roosters strutting by) when she walked off.
We're all sitting there, exhausted of our entertainment, when Tiger points to the bottle next to him and says, "Thai Moonshine". We all, in unison, say, "OHhhh, Why didn't you SAY so??". So we all (except Liz) tasted just a nip. It brought back flashbacks from my days of drinking moonshine up at Cedar Palace at Trout Lake. I was 19 then and could drink anything. This not so much. Arnie on the other hand had a new best friend in the bottle. He proceded to get fairly loaded. I'm currently uploading a few photos to send out because the story really isn't done any justice unless you can get an idea of where all this was taking place.
In any case, finally Tiger stands up and we follow. He shows us the bathroom which shockingly are regular sit down toilets instead of the usual hole in the floor variety. Then he brings us to our accommodations for the evening which consist of a bambu hut off the ground. I stepped in and wasn't too sure about my footing since it felt like I'd go flying through the floor with each step. The walls were bambu and didn't come all the way to the ceiling, plus there were gaps between every strip. So possibilities for mosquito infestation in my sleeping bag were great. We asked where the shower was (they'd told us there would be one when we booked) and he brought us out to what appeared to be some sort of plastic pipe o foot off the ground with water spilling out. Liz said, "You're kidding, right?" He said no. This was not good. We were all drenched through with sweat and grime and our feet were covered with dirt. I rinsed off since I had the forethought to bring flip flops but couldn't imagine if I had to walk around all night in the same muddy sneakers and sweaty socks I'd hiked in all day like the others.
To make an already ridiculously long story short(er), Liz asked our 'guide' if we could be taken back to Pai. He wasn't happy and showed her some other accommodation she could sleep in and another place she could shower. She didn't like that she was only offered those things after having shown displeasure. Then suddenly another guy shows up who speaks excellent English and we find out HE was supposed to be our guide that day but was apparently hung over from partying late night the prior evening and had sent these to yahoos to replace him. Eventually he spoke to the boss who said he would come out and pick us up. I was debating about staying since we were supposed to be trekking the next day and didn't want to wimp out. I knew I likely wouldn't sleep and it wasn't ideal to be laying around in my own sweat all night. Eventually after talking it through all 4 of us decided to go. We sat with the 'new' guide and a few of his guide friends in the hut as he regaled us with stories of how he got hammered the night before and felt like crap that morning and how he knocked up his girlfriend (she was 15, he was 20) and now he has a son, but he won't marry her because he wants his freedom and she's not pretty (he said this with her sitting next to him, but she speaks no English). A charming guy, as you can see. Eventually they brought us up to have dinner since the boss was on his way to get us and would be a bit anyway. Dinner was the best part of their offerings for the day, it was in a cozy hut off the ground with a fire burning in the center where they were cooking the meal. Tiger actually cooked - rice and a stir fry with an omlette which they traditionally have with lots of different kinds of meals. It was very good and we ate voraciously after having exhausted ourselves trekking all day. They all hung around the room watching us eat and probably talking about the ridiculous farang (foreigners) that were going to get them in trouble.
Eventually the boss came and took us back for the hour and a half drive in the truck. It was actually quite lovely out, very dark and the most amazing stars I've ever seen. We got back to town, found a place to stay and had one of the best showers ever. We went back to speak to the boss about the day and explained to him what had happened. He said he was surprised about Tiger and XXX guides since they have a good deal of experience and apparently are more than capable of speaking English. XXX supposedly never shuts up - I told him he'd barely said one word the entire day. He smoked and narrowed his eyes at me, debating about if he could trust my words. We relayed a good deal of info to him not so much to get the guys in trouble or to get money back, but because he seemed like a very nice man who was trying to run a business. I almost felt bad for the guides, I think I was in full on stockholm syndrome mode, siding with my captors. But he had a right to know what was going on. He told us to come back today after 2, he was going to talk to the guys and see what the deal was so we'll see how that goes over.
In any case, I slept like a log last night, woke up sore and did some stretches with Liz this morning. We met the crew for brunch and here we are. Likely, we will head back to Chiang Mai tomorrow early afternoon and spend a couple of nights there before heading back to Bangkok on our Friday flight. We like Pai but it's a little hippie dippy here and that experience was less than inspiring. All in all, the hiking was quite nice and I enjoyed it, we just would have appreciated some heads up that it would be almost entirely uphill (did I mention UP up?) and it would have been good to have some guides who could explain where we were, what we were seeing, some info about the tribes and villages we were passing through, etc. But I will forever hold with me the visual of Liz sitting outside that canteen, feet covered in mud, smoking a cigar with chickens scurrying around her feet and cows moo-ing in the background. Fabulous. It's all about the experience, as they say.
2 comments:
You sound like you are having a blast! I can't wait to hear more.
Interesting to know.
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