Yoga Nazis, One, Two, Sup-er Glue, and Designer Imposter Girls

Great week! We've been in Chiang Mai since Monday and are really enjoying it. I never tire of wandering the streets - I find something new down each little alley way and in every direction I turn. The city is small and managable and has a night market - EVERY NIGHT. That's a lot of shopping. The roads are constantly bustling with motorcycles, cars, pickups (that transport people on benches in the covered back). To cross... you just have to go. You can tell who's been here a few days by how long they wait on the side of the road for an opening which will never come. You gotta just step out there and go - they'll stop - usually.

There are people on the streets asking for money, but I'd say no more than in NYC just in a more concentrated location. There is one guy I would see every night walking up one of the main tourist strips. He's young, probably mid 20s. He's missing at least one leg - I don't feel the need to gawk to see if the other is missing as well - and sits on the ground. What made him different to me was every night I'd walk past him and every night he'd bow to me from the ground and smile. Finally tonight I was walking around alone and passed him once again. I stopped and said, "I see you every night". To my surprise he responded in fairly good english. "Yes, every night. Here." "I said yes, I see you every night here and I will give you some money." He said he wouldn't be there tomorrow since it's a holiday - he's christian and will be going to church (a small percentage of Thai people are Christian). He asked where I was from and if I was Christian. I said no. He said, "No religion?" I actually felt guilty when I said no, not for a while, no churches or temples. He didn't seem to mind since I was handing him 25 baht. I told him I'd see him next time I was in Chiang Mai. I don't know why but I feel like his smile will stay with me - just different from everyone else on the street.

With that said, the Thai people are a friendly people. It took a while to get used to whether or not they were just trying to 'get something' from us. But hey tuk tuk drivers and people selling things are out to make money - they're in sales. In general though, all the Thai people I've encountered have been very pleasant. I just walked around town alone at night and didn't feel a moment of concern (I stuck to the tourist streets though, I'm not a fool). As women, the Thai men don't show any interest and do not leer or make passes at us (maybe we're not at our hottest right now but I don't think that's the reason) and the caucasion men are only interested in Thai women, so it works out well in that respect.

The past few days we've been getting edumicated on all sorts of subjects. We completed a two day batiking course with Ann at her lovely home just outside of town. She picked us up at our guest house and brought us out there... she's built a studio just next to her house for the sole purpose of batiking. It's a great set up. We're greeted with tea and coffee in the morning, Ann's mother makes us delicious traditional lunches each day. As for the batiking, who knew? It's complicated but great fun. We made a few pieces including a canvas bag and I must say that it all turned out pretty good. Ann was a patient teacher and we had some great lunchtime/car ride conversations comparing our countries and just asking tons of questions. Ann taught us some new words and how to use some of the language in ways we didn't realize. It was nice to just be out of the 'big city' where the birds were chirping outside her door as we leisurely waxed and painted, painted and waxed. I particularly have stuck in my head Ann calling Liz "Liss" since the "Z" sound is not in the thai language as well as the Kenny G and thai version of Limbo Rock which apparently is supposed to be 'soothing' and is often played in thai massage places. I found it soothing as well. The first time. Maybe the second. But by the end of day two I was ready to lose my mind. The best part is Ann refers to both Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix as her "bofriend". She has batik pictures of both - but we get thai limbo rock. Go figure. In any case, Ann was great - just 37 - so it was interesting comparing our lives. She said when someone has a flat chest they say its like a fried egg. We said when someone has a flat chest it's like a pancake. You know, conversation to foster global understanding.

Today... fun day! We signed up to do a Thai Cooking Class (obligatory when you come here) with the Gap's House where we're staying. They picked us up at 10 and we headed to the market with the other 6 people in the group and our teachers "Joe" and "Yah" (I'm guessing at the spelling here). Yah took us around and explained all the things we were seeing, the various fruits and veggie we may or may not have at home. We saw buckets of live eels and snapper, fried larvae, and all things meat - as usual. We then went to our little hideaway in the trees where they have again, a great setup with a tables and a row of stoves with woks lined up. We spent the day making 6 dishes with both Joe and Yah giving great explanations and direction with superb english and sense of humor. I loved "Too hot? Too late" when referring to how to season your food. And "One, two, sup-er glue" when talking about the use of egg to stick the spring roll wrap to itself. Everything was a joke with them and we had a blast. Those guys run that class 6 times a week. I imagine it gets old saying, "One, two, sup-er glue" that many times a week. But I'm sure they're banking so it's all good. We had a lovely lunch of chicken with cashew nuts, tom yum soup, fish cakes, fish souffle, green curry, and rice. Quite enough food. Then we went home with pad thai, our spring rolls and an awesome pumpkin custard that he made for us. All for 900 baht (class, lunch and dinner = 27 bucks). Our group was a lot of fun, a guy from Venezuala and his Czech girlfriend, couple from Oz, Canadian girls. We laughed a lot and learned a ton. We got a cookbook to take home, so I promise a feast upon my return.

What does all of this mean? We have more 'stuff' to carry around with us. Batik book, cook book, batik projects... we're going to have to ship at some point. Besides the fact that Liz now has a shopping problem. I need to get her out of Chiang Mai or she's going to buy the place up. What can we say? The stuff is adorable and cheap. I'm trying to control myself. We leave tomorrow morning for Pai, a small town just northwest of here (around 4 hour drive in a minivan). We'll stay overnight there and book a trek from there - 3 days 2 nights possibly - to some of the local tribal communities. I'm not making any presumptions about what that will be like but I'll report back after. We'll then spend another night in Pai recouping after, then we fly back to Bangkok late next week. We then hop on a plane the next morning to Bali. Cambodia is going to have to wait for the time being. We both really want to go, but the flight is pretty expensive for the time we planned to spend there. We're going to hit Bali first and see how we feel after. We're spending 2.5 weeks there and plan to explore there and Lombak which is just next door. Apparently Liz's parents have travelled all over and said Bali is their favorite place. That's a pretty strong endorsement, so we'll see. I think it should be good since it's a nice mixture of things for us to do - ocean, trekking, culture, etc. I hope at some point to do some sort of sailing either just going out or a class. I used to sail with my father (little boats) when I was little and think it would be cool to start that up again.

Last night Liz and I walked around and ended up having the best dessert ever. This is why it's hard to go to a place and buy a fancy french dessert (like at Pix) when you can have a street vendor make you a banana chocolate rotee for 50 cent. It's essentially a crepe made in a big wok and it's simply fantastic. But we need to stop with that since we'll be needing to get into bathing suits soon enough. After today, we'll be trekking and eating much more reasonably. We haven't even been eating a lot, really. But after taking the cooking class and realizing how much oil and coconut milk is used (in everything)... uhhhhh. Must. Eat. Veggies.

I had so much fun the other day while Liz was getting a 2 hour massage. I got a much needed pedi instead (3 bucks - I thought my 15 dollar haircut in Big Sky might have been the lowest you could possibly go, but I'm considering getting my hair cut at this place for around 5 bucks...). After my pedi I was walking around alone and came across an older guy sitting kind of in an island in the middle of the road. He had a table out and his singer sewing machine and was working (a tailor I presume) while his baby and son played behind him. The son who must have been about 4 or 5 was so cute I asked if I could take a photo of him which he agreed to. I took the photo then went to the boy to show it to him and he LOVED that. He ran back and picked up his baby brother behind him and posed him up so I'd take another photo. I did and he put the baby down and ran back over to the camera to see. I took a couple more shots then started showing him photos I'd taken at home for just this purpose. I held the camera and let him flip the buttons while I showed him, "Moose. Bear. Mountain. Ocean. America." He would repeat after me, "Moo. Beh." It was pretty damned cool. I want to get back over to him tonight to bring him a little gift of some sort.

Last night after the rotee eating we walked around but we're still rather disturbed by all the creepy old guys who are here to mack on the thai women. They appear to be mostly German or from thereabouts, but I'm sure from all over. There are 'women's clubs' where the girls sit along the street in their short skirts and heels. (Walking past one last night Liz said, "There's enough perfume coming off those girls to keep Designer Imposters in business forever"). This happens everywhere, I realize. It's hard to determine how old these girls are. But we were told today but the Canadian girls who just got back from Kho Samui that it was even more disturbing down there, since the men walk around with some younger girls. I don't think like 10, but still. I've just never seen anything like it, where it's clear people are vacationing to a place for the purpose of company. I do believe some of these guys just want to hang out (ie they can't get dates in their own country) and while they're at it get a little. But others are definitely here just to get a little thai action. Ick. But overall Chiang Mai is a great place. The problem, we learned from a semi but not totally creepy Swedish guy we chatted with at dinner the other night who lives here now. He said since Chiang Mai is situated in the valley surrounding by mountains, it holds all the exhaust and pollution and there's a high incidence of lung cancer. Not good for long stays. So Liz is rethinking her thoughts of teaching here.

The other night we did a yoga class with William (British), who I refer to as "The Yoga Nazi". First of all, he's kind of scary looking. We met him while he was passing out flyers at the guesthouse and knew he was a bit odd. But it was a 2 hour class and it took every ounce of focus I had not to bust out laughing when he said, "Now breeeeeaaattthhhhh from your heart. Feeeeelllllll your toooessss as they preeesssss into the ground beeneeeaaaatthhhh yoooouuu." I can't possibly do it justice over email but let's just say it was bizarre. Plus the fact that he had his assistant/wife, Tipi (Who is Thai but I like to call her Himler) felt the need to adjust me in excrutiatingly painful ways. Tipi whispered to me as she ratcheted my hip in the opposite direction they are meant to move, "This is good." I said to her, "For who?" However, the nazis produced one of the most adorable children in the world, Gracie, who pranced around the room freely while we yoga-ed. Too cute.

Our Thai is improving (just in time to leave the country next week). Ann taught us some stuff, we learned some at cooking class and honestly I never hear other travelers even say thank you or hello in Thai - it's rather shocking. If you're going to go to another country at the very least learn how to say those words. Liz and I practice every day. We've even perfected our, "Thai Massssaaaaaagggeee?" call that the ladies say when you walk by. Ok, that's not Thai. But it's very particular and we're pretty good at it.

That's about it for now. Not sure when the next blog entry will be, probably after trekking in Pai is my guess. I'm looking forward to doing something physical. Till then.